How I’m Learning to Be Happy

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Being happy may seem like the easiest thing in the world, but the truth is that it is becoming more and more difficult to know what genuinely makes us happy. I’m learning to be happy by spending less time focusing on the expectations of others, being less bothered by other people’s opinions and realising that I should surround myself by people and travel to places that bring me job, not gain likes or false popularity.

There is no denying that we live in a world where we are actively encouraged to want more, to buy more, to act on our impulses, to believe that spending money is the easy way to solve our problems. We are also told that our value and happiness can only be calculated by the size of our social media following.

Have you ever stopped to actually think about what really makes you happy?

Are they people, places or possessions?

Would you still be happy if you had to throw out half your belongings? I’m not saying that we’ve all got to suddenly become obsessed with Marie Kondo and start talking to our socks but can you honestly say that you need everything you own?

Do the people you surround yourself with genuinely make you happy? Have you ever considered unfollowing everyone and restarting your accounts to ensure that you are only following people who inspire and encourage you? Of course this doesn’t just apply to social media, the actual people you spend time with also need to make a positive impact.

How do you spend your time? Do the activities, hobbies, and trips that make up your life really make you happy? Do you do things just to impress others? Do you only show the positive aspects of your life on social media?

Avoiding Trends

If I’m honest, this isn’t difficult for me – I’ve never really been one for following trends. Even as a child I mostly made an effort to not like the same things as everyone else. Music, fashion, hobbies… I preferred Boyzone and Backstreet Boys while everyone was crying about Take That, I never had any interest in clothes whilst everyone else seemed to be wearing new trainers on a weekly basis, I loved reading and writing whilst others around me were sneaking cigarettes in the park.

Of course, I’m not immune to advertising and sale stickers. I’ve been sucked in, bought that useless and unnecessary item and then sat staring at it weeks later wondering if I’m ever actually going to use it or wear it.

Rejecting Impulse Buying

I’m currently in the process of clearing out a lot of my clothes and belongings and even sure I’m sure the final result will be satisfying but it’s a difficult process as I’m actually a chronic impulse buyer. I’m one of those people who feels that rush of excitement as I hit that “purchase” button or enter my PIN in the shops.

It’s been a long, slow process to identify this issue and recognise that filling my life and bedroom with stuff doesn’t actually make me happy. I can’t say I’ve overcome this problem, but during this clearing out process I am becoming more and more aware of the time, space and money that has been wasted.

Living in the Moment

Often the life that people show on social media is just the highlights, the positive moments that we want the world to see. We try to hide the negative aspects, avoid the moments where we feel like we’ve failed, and gloss over the times where we believe we may be judged by others.

We all have bad days, but these can be made worse if we then sign into our various social media accounts and see the “perfect” lives being lived by those around us. Instead of focusing on our own lives and happiness we become blinded by comparing ourselves to others, even complete strangers.

I noticed this by removing all social media apps from my phone over the Christmas and New Year period. It was actually so satisfying that I still haven’t redownloaded Twitter or Facebook, instead I’ve just accessed them via my laptop on three occasions. It didn’t even occur to me to look at them over the festive period so it soon became more apparent that they weren’t as important to me as I may have previously thought.

Enjoy the Simple Things

I asked earlier in this post if you had ever stopped to think about what really makes you happy?

Are they people, places or possessions?

Sometimes it’s the smallest moments that makes us happier and more appreciative: a steaming hot cup of coffee on a crisp Winter’s day, sitting in a comfy chair with a good book, laughing with a friend you haven’t seen for a while, or enjoying a slow and relaxed walk surrounded by nature.

All of these things may seem like the simplest of pleasures, but they can also be ignored and forgotten as we make our lives busy and full of noise.

Learning to be happy is as simple as slowing down, making our lives quieter, surrounding ourselves with less (both possessions and people) and doing what brings us joy.

What makes you happy?

Let me know in the comments.